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  • Writer's pictureIdyll Adventurer

Monster Hunting: Z is for Zombie

Sometimes you just need to complain

Unexplained excavations are always worth looking into

April 23rd, 2019

Fuck zombies. I mean, the irony isn’t lost on me that someone’s risen from the dead on Easter Sunday, but seriously?

Anyways, there’s a number of undead out there in our world. Most of them are straightforward with pretty significant lore to back up what to do when a hunter comes across them.

Ghost/Spirit? Salt and burn the anchor.

Vampire? Stake and dismember.

Mummy? Set it on fire.

Evil spirit with an unburnable anchor? Surround that sucker with salt and concrete.

Corpse risen from the grave? Okay, technically a mummy is a corpse risen from the grave, as is a dry body, but those don’t have the same connotation as a zombie. And this, I ran into it yesterday, is a zombie.

I couldn’t take her down. Otherwise, this entry would be ‘here’s how you kill a zombie and here’s what might happen’ but instead… I’m trying to track down solid lore to ending a zombie.

There’s just too much out there for me to read about (gee thanks, Romero).

Okay, crash course on zombie lore and what I’ve learned:

  • They’re dead. Living things bleed, this thing didn’t when I shot it.

  • It heals. Fast. I put two slugs through its chest and the holes were gone in seconds.

  • Head shots don’t put it down. (thanks again, Romero)

  • It can talk. Complete sentences, but don’t expect to reason with one.

  • I don’t think it subsists on human flesh. At least this one didn’t try to bite me.

  • It kills vegetation around it, almost like its sucking up the very life force of the greenery around it. The woman’s grave had a perfect circle of dead grass around it and I noticed dead flowers in the garden I stumbled across it at.

So, with what I know, I can track it down. At least, if I can figure out where it’s staying again. Thankfully this town has plenty of green spaces. I just need to sift through more lore and figure out what isn’t complete bologna.


April 24th, 2019

Alright, new tidbit of information:

It doesn’t have the memory of a goldfish, but that is about it. I ran into it, but it didn’t seem to recognize me. I opted not to engage this time around and observed instead. It walked around town with nary a care. I know this is a small town, but it didn’t seem like anyone happened to know it.

Small blessings, since I don’t think I really want to see what happens if someone who knew it approached. This is especially good since I’m still not sure how to take it out.

New tidbit though: it smells. And not like normal death either. I’m used to that stench. This stench seems to permeate the entire area and induces gagging by people who passed it. I’m pretty sure it’s some sort of magical rot we’re catching whiffs of. If that’s the case, it’s time to call in the expertise of my magic wielding friend.


Call an expert.
Definitely helps if said expert likes you.

April 25th, 2019

Pretty sure it’s not viral. It doesn’t act like a movie zombie, but you know, I’m going to quarantine for a day or two just in case.

I ran into the thing again. It’s almost like we’re two opposite magnets drawn to each other as I wasn’t even out actively looking for it. Definitely lends thought that this is something magical and directed instead of pop-culture viral. Regardless, either you’re reading this next to my zombified corpse (meaning the zombie apocalypse has begun and I’m sorry) or you’re reading this trying to figure out what is real as far as zombies go.

New tidbit: A severed limb doesn’t continue to move by itself and, I don’t think, the severed pieces regrow. I’ve got its index and middle fingers (they stink to all high heaven and are continually leaking some black gunk). I cut them off when it grabbed and bit me.

Since I don’t think (I’m barricading the door just in case) it knows where I’m holing up, I’m going to lay low for a few days. Quarantine myself, just in case this is viral.


Magic is tough,

Always ask for help

Learn something new about old friends.

Sometimes its best just to call.


April 28th, 2019

Okay. Good news: I’m not a zombie. No itchy, scratchy, hungry feelings here. The not so good news: a body, with a bite mark, was discovered yesterday. I’m guessing this was the work of the zombie, but I’ve too little information to make that full jump in logic. If it is, it’s past time to get in gear and end this.

Charlie had some ideas, mostly around reversing the ritual used to produce this thing. I’m glad to have her in my corner. I’m less thrilled about purchasing a hotplate and boiling rotten eggs. Don’t ask where I got them on short notice. Since this thing seems to be drawn to me, I’ll lure it here, then perform the reversal ritual before going back out to find the necromancer who raised it.


May 3rd, 2019

And I thought they smelled bad on the outside. I don’t think the stench will ever come out of that room. I lured it to the room, stuffed a rotten egg into its mouth when it tried to bite me again, then drove an iron stake between its eyes.

The zombie turned to a fleshy paste that I was able to flush, mostly, down the tub drain. I salted, burned, and returned the bones to her grave for good measure.

Finding the necromancer was easier than I expected. He turned up at the gravesite. He’s alive, but I have a hair and blood sample to for Charlie to ensure he doesn’t do something stupid in the future.

He was just a grief-stricken college kid after all.

Used in this post is a newspaper template from

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