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  • Writer's pictureIdyll Adventurer

Monster Hunting: L is for Lizard People

Updated: Feb 11

You're seeing this right. Two journal entries this week.

Merry Christmas to all!

A surprising number of cases...

... come from people I've helped before.


March 23rd, 2020

I’m not one to believe in conspiracy theories. I’ve seen a lot of crazy stuff out here on the road, but that doesn’t make the even weirder stuff true. Demons, angels (logically), ghosts, sasquatch, aliens(?), all that makes sense. I’ve had more than a few brushes with the whole lot of ‘em. But lizard people?

I get it, the world’s a scary place. I, and other hunters like me, know that to be true beyond a shadow of a doubt. So, we don’t see the need to invent new things to be afraid of. When this theory first started circulating, I know hunters looked into it. It was before my time and everything I’ve read from reputable sources have said that the reptoid race running things is a fallacy. Nothing to be found and the people pointing fingers are usually a little unhinged.

Of course, most of the time we hunters can come off as a little unhinged.

I’m sure you’re asking: why bother then?

Reason 1: I was genuinely bored. I’ve never been able to sit idle for long. I almost learned my lesson a couple years back in Enfield.

Reason 2: I don’t think it’s a lizard person (they don’t exist), but that doesn’t mean it’s not a monster. Dopplegangers or shapeshifters (hell, maybe his boss is really a skinchanger who prefers reptiles to furry mammals).

Reptile shapeshifters are rare, but not unheard of. Most people just can’t adopt the alien mind of a reptile. There’s something to being cold-blooded.

Since my target has already been identified and my friend has told me pretty straight forward what he thinks it is, means part of my job’s already done. Now it’s time to do some recon.


March 25th, 2020

My god is my buddy’s boss boring. I took a couple of days to follow the guy at a distance. The town is mid-sized, so I’d kind of hoped that tailing him wouldn’t be a full-on bore, but I was wrong. All he did was attend meetings and functions. Even read a story at a school. Future me, you know what I mean. A snoozefest to be sure.

I mean, the story at a school was slightly interesting thanks to his being a private citizen donating his time, but that’s only interesting because it points more toward him not being a monster. Monsters don’t tend to take the time to better humanity in my experience.

I don’t think there’s ever been a more vanilla individual, y’know?

I had a long talk with my friend. He says that his boss has been enacting policies that hurt everyone, and furthers an agenda to make the world more hospitable for others of his kind.

This has likely been a waste of time.

But I also don’t do anything half-assed. My daddy always said that if you’re going to do so something, take it all the way on. That means digging into this guy’s background. I’ll ask Dan to do a background on him while observing overnight.

Cops can skip the next entry.

Sometimes a little B&E is necessary to rule things in or out.


March 26th, 2020

I snuck into his house this morning after observing him overnight. While nothing shady happened at night (one of the most boring stakeouts I’ve ever done), the exploration of his home was a little more fruitful.

He lives in a massive home. The place is just shy of a mansion (Spoiler: Don’t know the definition of a mansion) and could easily house two of my families. Maybe more. Searching it took a few hours.

I was careful not to trip the security system. I won’t detail here how I bypassed it, if you’re me you know how to do it and if you’re someone else, you either know or you don’t. I also took care to not leave any evidence of my intrusion. It wouldn’t do well to get some cop on my tail when it’s not necessary. I’ve got a rap sheet and I’d rather not up my presence if I can help it.

Anyways, inside I found the usual spread of things you’d expect to find in a home: kitchen and living room and bedrooms, bathrooms, a curious number of gaming rooms. What truly piqued my interest, however, was a locked and sealed door in the basement that I couldn’t find a way to open.

Might be a holdout to some nuclear bunker (right area, but the home looked to be the wrong decade) or a saferoom (might fit the guy’s status in my buddy’s company, but not his public presence), or something more nefarious.

Needless to say, my curiosity’s suitably raised. I’ll be going back to see if I can figure this out. While I was in there, I took the time to collect some samples (you might be surprised at just how useful carrying DNA swabs and a couple collection baggies can be) from him. Hopefully Dan’s got a drop point nearby.

Asking for information.

Can't imagine what hunters did before DNA sequencing.

March 28th, 2020

Go figure. Okay. So he’s not human. Doesn’t mean he’s a monster, despite what my buddy said. There’s monsters and then there’s monsters and this guy’s actions just don’t scream monster to me. Sure, lizard people have a really bad rap thanks to the conspiracy theory that they run the show from the shadows to make the world a better place for themselves, but that’s not what I’ve seen.


March 29th, 2020

I stand corrected. I kept my observation going for an extra day just to be thorough before telling my buddy to reevaluate his priorities. It’s a good thing his boss is such a vanilla person that he doesn’t suspect someone paying close attention to his actions.

I watched him tempt a homeless man away from his tent in a disreputable area downtown, then slaughter him with a callousness born solely of an inhuman nature.

Now how to kill a lizard person? I’m going to give the tried and true methods: silver, iron, and steel in the form of my silvered knife, trusty pistol and if it comes down to it: Victim Blade. The scar will be worth it if the last is needed.

I know his ritual and that he lives alone. Still wonder about the door in the basement, hopefully it isn’t a saferoom he runs to. Just means I need to be quick.


March 29th, 2020

I’m going to have a new scar, but not from my special knife. It’s true, by the way, lizard people bleed blue. It turned red within a minute or two, but the best way to put down one is with a mundane weapon. Bullets work well, and keeps you outside of their clawing range, so bring firepower.

Gonna need to lay low for a while, the basement door set off some alarm that brought the fuzz. Still wonder where the tunnel goes though.

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